


Anteiku, Shinjuku's Ghoul Café

by LastHope



Series: Ikebukuro Ghoul [2]
Category: Durarara!!, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, Gen, One Shot Collection, Tags to be added, Trolling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 08:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5577832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LastHope/pseuds/LastHope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Orihara-san, I believe you’ve been warned before about tormenting the staff.” Orihara-san is the one regular of Anteiku that nobody wants to wait on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anteiku, Shinjuku's Ghoul Café

Chiming from the entrance, the bell above the door alerts the staff of Anteiku of a new customer.

Actually, two new customers, Kaneki observes when they come in – both of which are males. One’s wearing a white lab coat and glasses, while the other is wearing a black fur trimmed jacket. He doesn’t recognize either of them so they’re probably not regulars, but Kaneki hopes that they don’t sit down in his area anyways. He hasn’t been working at Anteiku long, and even though he’s trusted to handle customers on his own, he doesn’t trust himself.

Much to his chagrin however, both customers take a seat at a table on the edge of his section, bordering along Touka’s. Kaneki throws a furtive glance around, trying to find Touka so he can get her to take care of them, but she’s busy with customers of her own. Luck isn’t on his side, so it looks like he’ll be handling this table’s orders on his own.

“–being so nice, taking you to my favorite café in Shinjuku, Shinra!” The customer in the black jacket is saying in mock offense as Kaneki approaches the table. _Shit._ So apparently these are regulars, or at least the one is.

“You, nice? Yeah right,” The other customer – Shinra, Kaneki assumes his name is – scoffs teasingly.

“Excuse me,” Kaneki stammers, interrupting as politely as he can manage. “Are you ready to order?” Both men turn to look at him – Shinra looks a bit startled, while the other customer has something akin to mild interest. Kaneki thinks there might be a suspicious narrowing of the man’s eyes, like the customer thinks something is off, but he isn’t quite sure, because it’s gone as soon as it appears. After a moment there’s a smile on his face, and something makes Kaneki want to take a step back.

“Ah, you’re a new face here, aren’t you?” The customer says lightly, drumming his fingers against the table top. “I haven’t seen you around before. When did you start?”

“L-Last week,” Kaneki replies, feeling wholly unsettled, and he wishes he had just ignored the table until Touka was done.

“You look familiar,” Shinra’s staring at him, a puzzled, thoughtful, look on his face and Kaneki’s certain that he’s never seen this man before in his life. “Have we met before?”

“A college student like him?” The other customer snorts, waving his hand dismissively, “I doubt you’ve actually _met_ before, isn’t that right, Eye-Patch-kun?” Kaneki winces at the nickname, barely restraining himself from raising a hand to the eye-patch covering his left eye.

“Wait, I got it!” His friend comes to the realization suddenly, banging his fist against his open palm. “You’re that kid that was in the news a while ago – the one that received the organ donation that caused a lot of controversy!”

“Ding ding ding,” The other customer cheerfully rings out, imitating a bell. “That is indeed right! Kaneki-kun here is the lucky human who received an organ donation from a dying girl who wasn’t a registered organ donor!”

“Wow, you really are lucky!” Shinra exclaims, way too excited considering the topic of discussion, “From what I heard, if you hadn’t received that transplant you probably wouldn’t have made it!”

The entire exchange is making him nauseous, and part of that reason has to do with the fact that the one customer knows his name. The staff at Anteiku doesn’t wear name-tags, and Kaneki never introduced himself, so neither of them should know his name. Not only that, but even if they know him from the news coverage caused by the transplant he received, Kaneki remembers that all the talks about it never included his name. And yet, the one customer knows it.

“Orihara-san,” Faster than lightning, Touka appears at his side, and Kaneki is thankful that she’s come to his rescue. Touka doesn’t seem very happy, though whether it’s because of the customer – Orihara – or because she has to come to his rescue, Kaneki doesn’t know. And, to be honest, he doesn’t quite care at the moment.

“Ah, Touka-chan!” Orihara crows cheerfully, smiling. “It’s been so long since I saw you last.”

“Orihara-san,” Touka ignores him, continuing on irritably. “I believe you’ve been warned before about tormenting the staff.”

“Me, torment the staff?” He gasps in fake shock, resting a hand over his heart for effect, and when Kaneki looks at Shinra, there’s amusement in the other man’s eyes and he’s hiding a snicker. Obviously Orihara is playing innocent. “I would _never_.”

“Hey,” Shinra cuts in, looking between Orihara and the two Anteiku staff. “As I think about it, what you mentioned earlier Izaya,” He looks at Touka and Kaneki, a strange gleam in his eyes, excitement radiating from him. “Does that mean you two are – ow, ow, ow!”

Shinra yelps, being cut off as Orihara (Izaya?) leans across the table tweaking his nose between two lithe fingers and jerking it up firmly.

“Now who’s tormenting the staff?” Orihara’s tone is bored, but there’s a sharp, guarded glint in his eyes. “Honestly Shinra, you don’t just ask people that.”

“Does that mean we are _what_?” Touka’s the one brave enough to ask, tone just as guarded and sharp as Orihara’s eyes.

“No need to be mean Touka-chan!” Orihara is laughing as he releases his friend’s nose, who rubs it while glaring at Orihara. “Ne, I was just telling Shinra of a rumor I heard – someone said that there was a new worker at Anteiku, _and_ that they had a crush on you. Really, it’s not my fault Shinra’s such a pervert, nosing into people’s private lives like that!”

“What? Hey, I’m not a pervert Izaya!” Shinra whines, while both Touka and Kaneki sputter once they process the allegation Orihara has announced. “And I don’t nose into people’s private lives – that’s what _you_ do!”

“W-We’re not –”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?!”

“I’m sure my dear Courier-san has some interesting stories that would refute your claim,” Orihara replies, both males continuing their argument as they ignore the staff.

“ _Hey_ ,” Touka barks irately at the customers when they continue to bicker over her and Kaneki’s attempts to try and get them to clear up what exactly Orihara-san has said.

“Touka,” Yoshimura cuts in from his place at the counter, his tone warning, and Touka sighs and rests her hands on her hips in annoyance.

“Are you going to order or not?” She demands instead, more rudely than strictly necessary.

“I’ll have my usual,” Orihara waves one hand while resting his cheek on the other. “Shinra will have the girliest thing you can come up with.”

“What if I wanted something else?” Shinra protests, and Orihara shrugs, humming in response.

“Should’ve spoken up sooner, then!” He answers nonchalantly, like he has no real care for whether his friend is happy with what was ordered or not. “Besides, you were the one who wanted me to bring you here – you should have expected the consequences!”

However the rest of the conversation goes is lost on Kaneki, as Touka drags him away from the table and behind the counter to work on the orders. Touka struggles to remain calm, and her entire person is exuding anger.

“Is – is everything all right, Touka-chan?” To Kaneki, anything has the ability to set Touka off and make her angry – especially him – but she seems even more irate than normal, if that’s even possible.

“I _hate_ that man,” Touka seethes, a death grip on the can of coffee she’s just pulled down. Any harder and Kaneki thinks she might just pierce the can with her fingers alone. He idly thinks that it’s a good thing it’s the middle of the day, otherwise Touka would probably launch herself at Orihara without hesitation.

“Who?” Kaneki asks, though it only takes a moment after he’s asked to figure out the customer she’s talking about. “You mean Orihara-san? Why? Is it because he torments the staff?”

Because that’s what she accused him of doing when she swooped in to rescue him…

“Not only because of that,” Touka huffs, measuring out the coffee, before thrusting the can in Kaneki’s face. “This is the strongest brew in the café, in case you’ve forgotten. Orihara’s usual. He hasn’t come by in a while, so we thought he had found some place else to go, but it seems like he’s taken an interest in you, so we’re doomed to have his presence here until you eventually bore him as well.”

“Is he that bad?” Kaneki frowns, taking the can from Touka and placing it back on the shelf.

“The worst,” Touka grumbles. “No one can tell if he’s ghoul or human – he refers to everyone as a human, by the way, though don’t think for a moment that that means he’s a ghoul. He never comes to the café alone, so you can’t be sure if the ghoul you smell is him, or whoever he’s with.”

“Not only that!” She continues, and wow, this is probably the first rant Kaneki’s heard her go on about someone other than him. Something about this Orihara-san really gets under her skin apparently. “But he also asks these weird questions that seem vague, but also imply that he knows the answer to. Can’t tell you how many times he’s implied that he knows the staff here are ghouls, but he hasn’t outright stated _knowing_ anything, so we can’t _do_ anything.”

Touka’s holding a cup with the same irate death grip she had on the coffee can, and Kaneki wordlessly removes it from Touka before it can suffer a grim demise. For a moment, he thinks that she’s done. Only a moment though.

“Never!” She practically shouts at him, though it’s quiet, because they’ve been whispering so as not to be overheard, “And I mean _never_ , answer any of the questions he asks you. Let him prattle on, talk to himself, whatever, but unless he asks you about the house specials – which is laughable at best for actually occurring – the only interaction you should have with him is taking his order and asking if he needs anything else. _Understand_?”

Touka’s glaring threateningly at him, and Kaneki’s almost positive that the only reason that she doesn’t have her kakugan out for added effect is the fact that they’re in the middle of the workday.

Still, “Understood!” Kaneki meeps meekly, withering under Touka’s harsh look.

And that seems to be that, and they finish the order in silence. Ditching him to check on her own tables, it is up to Kaneki to deliver the drinks to Orihara’s table. Which made sense, after all – they don’t need two of the staff to deliver drinks, even if Orihara is unsettling.

“Always with the dissections Shinra,” Orihara is sighing when Kaneki reaches the table. “Don’t you ever get – oh, Kaneki-kun, you’re back.” The man’s garnet eyes crinkle up in a smile, and Kaneki really, _really_ doesn’t want to know what they had been talking about.

“Y-Yes,” He tries to avoid stuttering, but doesn’t succeed as well as he does when he manages to avoid looking at either man, setting the drinks down as he focuses on the table. “H-Here’s your drinks.” He sincerely does _try_ to escape, really, he does, but Kaneki fails abysmally.

“Ne, Kaneki-kun, what is your opinion on ghouls?” Orihara asks casually, though his gaze is a piercing one that Kaneki feels driving straight through his soul.

“G-Ghouls?” Abort, abort, he doesn’t know how he should respond. “I – I mean, well, they’re killers aren’t they? At – At least, some of them are.”

“Hmm, I guess that is true,” Orihara raps his knuckles against the table. “So would you view them the same as humans on the ethical level?” He tilts his head to the side, “Ah, well, with your summation, we’ll go with human killers for the hypothetical.”

“What?” Shinra is upset, gawking at Orihara as Kaneki struggles to either answer, or find a way to escape without answering.

“I – I suppose so,” Kaneki looks anywhere _but_ the two men at the table, and when his eyes land on Touka, she’s giving him a sharp glare and scowl. Yikes. He quickly averts his gaze. “I – I mean, one would assume that they’re on the same ethical level, I guess…”

“So, you’d agree that it would be _unethical_ to dissect a ghoul while it was _still alive_?” Orihara purrs smugly, giving a pointed look at his companion, his attention no longer focused on Kaneki.

“D-Don’t answer that!” Shinra interrupts quickly before Kaneki can even think if he even wants to answer that. Part of him wants to know what even brought up this topic of conversation, but another part tells him that he would probably be better off not knowing. “Maa, Orihara-kun that’s not fair! You can’t ask _him_ that!”

“Why not?” Orihara rebuts, a smirk covering his face even as he takes a sip of his coffee. “You never said I couldn’t ask the opinion of a passerby.”

“But asking the staff is _cheating,_ you and I both know that!” Shinra whines. “If you asked anyone on the street, they’d agree with me!”

“But I didn’t ask someone on the street, I asked Kaneki-kun, ne?” He doesn’t know what sort of argument he got dragged into, especially one involving the _live_ dissection of ghouls, but Kaneki sure doesn’t want to be a part of it any longer. “So, Kaneki-kun, what’s your answer? Do you agree with me or him?”

“Um, I – I’m sorry,” Kaneki avoids quickly, frantically trying to find a way to escape. “I just remembered, I’m, I’m supposed to be doing inventory right now! If – If you need anything else, please flag down another member of the staff.” The excuse is flimsy, but he honestly doesn’t care – all he wants is to be as far away from the table as possible.

As he flees, he hears Orihara stage-whisper to Shinra,

“I’m pretty sure that means he agrees with me.”

“Ah, it’d be nice if you went and died Orihara-kun,” Is Shinra’s response, and at that moment Kaneki makes a decision.

“You first.”

He _never_ wants to wait on Orihara _again._

(Unfortunately, the entirety of the staff has the same opinion.)

* * *

 


End file.
